Translations of Artemis Fowl Cipher
by Undead Minion of the
Summary: Translation of the code at the bottom of the page for ALL Artemis Fowl books! It's for people who are too lazy to learn gnommish, centurian and Artemis' diary-code. Probably the only place to find all three together!
1. Artemis Fowl: Gnommish

Disclaimer: This goes for all chapters. I do not own anything in this, it is the copyrighted work of Eoin Colfer (I can, at least, spell his name). Gnomish, Centurian and Artemis's Diary-Code do not belong to me, I can only read and write in them fluently. Enjoy!  
  
The prophecies of Ohm pot cleaner to the Frond Elfin King.  
  
I am Ohm pot cleaner to the king. But I am much more than that for I see the future written in the phlegm. For centuries we pixies have read the phlegm but I am the best there has ever been. My visions are generally of little importance. I foretell outbreaks of troll pox or gas spasms among elderly dwarfs. But sometimes even a poor pot cleaner can see wondrous things.  
  
A vision came to me two moons ago when I was gazing deep into majesty's own phlegm pot. I was heating the pot ever the flame when the sign appeared. This was more vivid and detailed than any I had previously seen. Because of its importance I decided to write it down for posterity.  
  
And so I can say I told you so. I saw an age when the People have been driven under ground by the Mud Men. This is what the phlegm told me. In this time one shall come among us. Fowl by name and foul by nature. A Mud Man unlike any other. He shall learn our secrets and use them against us. I can see him now as plain as day. His face is pale, he has dark eyes and raven hair. Yet it must be a mistake for he seems a mere youth. Surely no Mud boy could outwit the people? But now I see the boy is not alone. He is aided by a formidable warrior scarred by a thousand battles. This Fowl shall hold the People to ransom for their most precious possession. Gold. And in spite of all our magic there is a chance that he will prevail. For he has discovered how to escape the time field. Unfortunately how the story ends I cannot say.  
  
But there was more to see. There is another story to come. Someone will bring the people and Mud Men together. The worst of both races. This Fairy's goal is to grind all the creatures of the earth beneath his foot. And who is this traitor?  
  
It is not clear. But he shall start a war unlike anything the people have ever seen. Those who were enemies shall be united against him. And for the first time there shall be mud men below ground. I have one clue to his identity. I riddle :  
  
Goblins shall rise and Haven shall fall, A villainous elf is behind it all. To find the one who so disappoints, Look ye to where the finger points. Instead of one face this elf has two. Both speak lies and none speak true. While publicly he lends a helping hand, His true aim is to seize command.  
  
I know. It's not very plain, is it? I don't understand it either. But perhaps all the future will become clear. Look for a power-hungry elf with a finger pointed at him during our tale.  
  
And so this is Ohm's legacy. A warning that may save the world from total destruction. There's not much more to work with, I know. The details are a bit sketchy. My advice to you is to consult the phlegm. It may be that you are sensitive. I have buried prophecy with this phlegm pot. If you are not fortunate enough to work as a pot cleaner there is usually a supply of phlegm every time you have a cold. Here endeth the prophecies of Ohm. But because of the importance of my visions I shall repeat them once more. If you have begun to understand the text then read on. If you have worked out the entire message then congratulations. Now go save the world.


	2. Arctic Incident: Centurian

Congratulations human. If you have cracked this code then you are more intelligent then most of your species. This is a message from the fairy people. We are seeking out our allies among the mud men. Though most humans are dull-witted creatures, there are exceptions.  
  
You for example. The reason for your intelligence is that you have fairy ancestors.  
  
Do you feel different form those around you? Are your ears a bit pointier than most, is your tongue long enough to touch your nose? Do you dream of flying? Have you ever thought that you do not belong among the mud men? That is because you have fairy blood in your veins. So, young mud fairy, I have a mission for you. As one of the people it is your duty to protect the earth from those who would destroy it. You must become one of a new race of mud men who love this planet as much as the fairy folk. Here is one simple rule: use only what you need and use it wisely. Do this and the earth will survive. Go now and and begin your quest. I shall repeat this message for those humans whose fairy intelligence is buried a bit deeper than yours.  
  
Congratulations human. If you have cracked this code then you are more intelligent then most of your species. This is a message from the fairy people. We are seeking out our allies among the mud men. Though most humans are dull-witted creatures, there are exceptions.  
  
You for example. The reason for your intelligence is that you have fairy ancestors.  
  
Do you feel different? 


	3. Eternity Code: Diary Code

My dear newfound ally,

If you have deciphered this code then you are of sufficient intelligence to aid me in my mission. You may have heard of the Fowl family and imagine this mission to be illegal or even dangerous. I promise you this is not the case. All I ask is that you help me to keep my memories where they belong. In my head. There are certain forces at work that wish to deprive me of memories that are rightfully mine. These forces would wipe certain facts from my brain that are extremely important not to mention valuable. Who are these forces? They are magical fairies known as the people.

I know what you are thinking. This person Artemis Fowl has obviously lost his mind. Fairy people? He cannot honestly expect us to believe this nonsense.

It is an understandable reaction. Two years ago I would have reacted exactly the same way. But a lot can change in two years. I have seen green-skinned sprites fly under their own power. I have seen dwarfs use their cavernous mouths to dig tunnels. I have witnessed the healing power of elves and the flank of a centaur. These creatures exist. Take my word for it. But as powerful as these creatures are they fear one thing, humans. We are the only creatures with the power to overthrow their underground society. Our numbers could subdue even magic!

So the people have decided that it is too dangerous to have a human boy with fairy knowledge in his head. Soon they will mind-wipe me and this extraordinary information will disappear. There is one way to stop this happening. I have entrusted a computer disk to a reprobate dwarf by the name of Mulch Diggums. The disk contains all my knowledge on the fairy folk.

Of course, the mind wipe will cause me to forget all about the dwarf and the disk. Diggums should bring the disk to me but common criminals are not to be trusted. I ask you to get a message to me. The message is simple. Six words only. _Artemis Fowl must find Mulch Diggums_. Whenever you see one of the faithful clutching this book repeat those words. The message will spread like a virus across the world, eventually reaching my ears. I will act upon it putting all my resources into locating the mysterious Mister Diggums. Once I find him the disk will reactivate all my memories and the knowledge will be mine again. Do this for me and when I rule the world you shall be rewarded.

Remember: Artemis Fowl must find Mulch Diggums.

Your new friend Artemis Fowl the Second


End file.
